feeling free

finally few bad things r getting over....n few still left to go...
had lots o fun today....

i saw today a market full o gardening materials....flowers...seeds...n grafting material........uh.........love it...
i want a garden o mine....in which i can grow wtvr i want....n make a heaven o mine........
it feels so fresh even by thinking upon it........
one o the things i wud love to do....:)

finally...did sumthin jo ki bohat pehle kar dena tha......
ignored n bloked the ppl whom i dun like...whom i dun want to be with...........freeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

:)

music love

some of the best things in life is....
to listen ur fsv songs...
speacially when u luv kishore....he is charasmatic..
he has a magic in his voice...
a charm...tht takes u into a diffrent world...
u can feel the rain when he sings...rim jhim gire sawan..even if its not wet outside..
u can feel pain...if u never had any...
his voice is so heart toching..
n so refreshing....that u forget ur life...
n find life to his voice..
love u kishore da.......

well my todays line: i wud hav died uptill now.....but music keeps me alive.........!!!

mess up queen

oh god......i dunnoe wt is goin on....
m jus having a "flood mind" problem......ssly.......thoughts thoughts....
i sleep these days like ........when i wake up....i feel i dint hav a sleep.....still in sumwhere else mode...
oh....aggh....
pura din sar dukhne lag jaata ahi...
n din bhar mai if i tell u how it thinks...n wt goes on...u ll not able to make it....is it a mind or error in a pc....

firstly...my days r goin lik hell....though m makin a way out....but stuk where i never wanted to be...
dun noe wt ll happen....feels as if....m getting sum kinda punishment...

feeling guilty here n there.....i feel any thing ended in ma life is due to me....it me....who is the bad one...who is the doer o every damage to every heart....

i hav jus becum recently...a "mess up Queen.".......ssly!!!

i mess with everyoone.. ...each one i met...

mujhe shaanti....peace o mind....i jus got by listing to few voices jinhe mere sunne ke naseeb  ni ha ab....i noe maine hi waha bhi mess create kari...

only thing left in ma life is muzic.....aah...i think ....thr wud b no music....i wud b dead coz o thinkin so much....

another thing..music sunnte bhi mind....here there......"roamer"....uh!!!

god gimme strenth...to cope up with me....thrz no one...jo mere aise thoughts sune....ab mai kisi ke paas jaati bhi nahi...jaakar bhi kya karu....

i noe few frnz r thr....but when i talk to them....things n thoughts changes...i feel lil diffrent...not as if m in sum prob...

i need really a big/small.....change...a gap from this life ....but after completing few pending...n messed up tasks....
:(((((((

take me away...to place....n tell me....i can jus sit n smile thr.....m tiered of crying....teired of thinking....tiered o feeling misreable...
wish u reading out thr...i ll write for a life time...

but i think...u too stoppped caring abt me...n ye i deserved it.....

cant stop my tears....kya hai ye mamala........jaanu na mai janu naa.......dil sambhal ja zara....yahi ruk ja zara....aage koi ni hai tere liye!!!

:((

secluded

well yea.....its is ri8ly said tht .......no matter wt life moves on....
but sumtimes u think ...u cud hav made things more  easier than this...
u cud hav earned sum courage n guts to be with the one whim u loved....no matter wt...
u cud hav...jus given tht thing a another chance...
life is never easy.......it is we whom shud accept the challenge.....

well.....its too late 4 me....but hav realized all tht...
he's happy in his own diffrent world now....n thtz a gud thing...but..
its like...his world now dont include me.....
the flower of so called me is dreid ...n kept in a book...intead of showing life..
mi8 be he hates me now....n y shudnt he...he shud.

i miss those times we shared...
n tht shud make me happy....but tht is creating a another space called...."bereavement" !!!
its hard to live .... coz thr is no charm,no glow, no life.....no reason to...but m not like those who quit their lives......neva!!
i dun noe if i cud lov sum1 else....
love happens once.......n for me its for lifetime..thtz true!!!

why

bit depressed.....
wanna talk to sum1....:((

its life or cruel life......when aapke saath waale apko samjh na paye....aur jo samjh sakte hai vo naraz hai.
ya busy hai...

:((

i cant undstd it god!!

wanna change

oh yea......i wanna change a bit....
i guess.......due to my lil weired nature everyone is getting hurt.....everywhere...

recently i speak to ppl rudely........coz i dun lik wt they do

i say ppl frankly.....tht u r wrong....

or scold anyone....coz they r doin things to me i dun like....or irritate me...

taunt any one.....dun noe y...
i shall not...ppl dun unsdtd thier mistakes....nor do they ll change by tht....nor i wanna loose them...but ppl ll make a distance from me then...

where is that patient amu.........who used to listen ppl not throw words at mouth...
who used to...be polite...wtvr other person does....now i dun tolerate......

dun noe wtz ri8............wts wrong......

bt yea ppl do get hurt by tht........so i think...i shall stop it....

waise it doesnt siut my proffession ri8?

Fallin' Flyin'

i love this song for many reasons........strongest reason is u...

I was goin’ where I shouldn’t go
seein’ who I shouldn’t see
doin’ what I shouldn’t do
and bein’ who I shouldn’t be

a little voice told me it’s all wrong
another voice told me it’s alright
I used to think I was strong
but lately I just lost the fight

funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’
for a little while
funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’
for a little while

I got tired of bein’ good
started missing that old feeling free
stop actin’ like I thought I should
and went on back to bein’ me

I never meant to hurt no one
I just had to have my way
if there is such a thing as too much fun
this must be the price you pay

funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’
for a little while
funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’
for a little while

you never see it comin’ till it’s gone
it all happens for a reason
even when it’s wrong
especially when it’s wrong

funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’
for a little while
funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’
for a little while

I was goin’ where I shouldn’t go
seein’ who I shouldn’t see
doin’ what I shouldn’t do
and bein’ who I shouldn’t be

awesumn day

well.......it was the loveliest sunday i hav ever got......
i got to talk to a my really........old.......dhildhood frn.......finally after.......14 yrs......
we were together n best frnz in skool.....but due to transfer.........she changed the school......

really its a 9th cloud situation for me.....m reallly hapiiiiiieeeee............today.....
n ma happieness is beyond words.......coz she too remembers me..........as i do........grt na...

wao......it was a real......suprise......miracle......wo!!

i love fb for tht........it made me met.....2 such frnz...infact....3-4 such frnz........whom i used to miss so much but cudnt find anywhere.....
ssly this world is so small.......sumtimes....


my many frnz are getting married.....n m feeling lik......wtf........life over?/

i talked to today another ma gr8 frn....she o wt to say....

is it like......our lives r governed by ur parents??
we ought to do wt they think we shud do??
i noe sumtimes they r ri8...yea many a times they r ri8.....
but a child hav a ri8 to do thigs wt they want.....
u noe she'z living n lived whole life tht way.......studied wt parents like......doin wt parents like....now wt soon u ll get married........n ll do wt ur parents r doin....
cummon its just one life u hav got......atlest fi8 for ur own self.....maine use yahi samjhaya....
she still hav tme......she can win the sitauation.......n her life.....
hope she ll......

ssly.....its a big question for me.......parents n children......do they really need to force a child for wt they want??

well......hell lot busy these days.....
but m not sad......yea dint get any time to get sad......
this week ........dint get sleep more than 4 hrs in a day.....yea thtz wt life of doctors is......i liked it.
i like to work........n work.....:)

well.......ok.....how much i remember.....bet n worse.....
best..........snow has finally melt....n we go out very often now.....njoin life :)

in missin part......for a change i missed my brother a lot.....
our masti....our habits o all time..........lovely experiences n moments o life:)

today also .........it was a foggy day...n i jus felt like m walkin on roads o indore....on a morning of a winter day


well..........worst.......worked n stayed awake in pain too.......had to.......wt to do...!! nothin much...

today comedy tragedy........fun..

bought a new coat.......yea i noe i noe.......i shudnt hav.........coz hav to save money...........but common i cudnt hel it......when i saw it.......
it happens only rarely.........hehe..........

all i noe in d end o the day is..........."m tiered"!!!

wanna paint sumthin new...........but when i dun noe when...:(

chalo ll c u blog again ll cum wid new ideas.......